Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Weekend: A Recap

Friday was another day of cutting and clearing. Because of the weather and the humidity, we knocked off around 1:00 pm. As it turned out, we had some local showers starting at 1:05pm, so our timing was impeccable.

Pat's been busting his ass since this damage occurred. His wife works long days. Everyone is a bit on edge because of the added workload. Debris filled yard means debris filled house courtesy of us tracking in and out though the day. We try to limit it as best we can, but sometimes you just have to go inside.

Add to this baseball games for both the boys and things can just get really hectic.

Friday afternoon, while on a run to get some ice (we have been going through a lot of ice in water and other liquids this week), I made a command decision.

I would skip the baseball game, stay back at the main house, and cook a classic fried chicken dinner for the family.

Oh yeah, did I ever mention I can cook some mean fried chicken?

I started by making a peach cobbler using some beautiful peaches I brought up from a farm stand in North Carolina.

Having completed the cobbler, it was time to get the chicken ready for frying. I started by marinating the chicken in salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and cayenne pepper. I also started to boil some farm fresh eggs to make devilled eggs.



Then I dredged the chicken in flour seasoned with salt, black pepper, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, rubbed sage, and thyme. It was time to fry.



I'm not big on pre-prepared foods, but I was beat too. A quart of store bought potato salad and a quart of store bought cole slaw rounded out the meal.

I placed the chicken into the oven to keep it warm (the oven heated to 200F and turned off), left instructions as to what's where, and got out.

I wanted them to have a good family night. They deserved and needed one.

Saturday was another day of cutting and chainsawing. Lisa had a fundraiser at the church to do, and the youngest son had a playoff game. Pat and his oldest took off around 9:45 am to watch the game.

Pat felt it was important to have one of them there at the game. It is one of the reasons I admire him as a parent. The family comes first.

Fortunately Pat's neighbor Jay was over to help until 11:00 am. We got a lot of stuff done. He left to go to work and our friend Brad came over. This is the guy I was waiting for. Brad is one of the hardest working guys I know. I always have a lot of confidence doing a project if Brad's involved.

For this part of the project, I was going to need all the confidence I could get.

A black walnut tree fell close to the house. Part of it damaged a copper gutter over the north side entrance to the house. Pat had already cut that part away, but the remaining limb (all 40 feet of it) was over the roof of the entrance. The limb was also about 8 inches in diameter. The height above the porch roof and the weight of this hardwood made for a potentially damaging predicament.

We were lucky. We had one of everything we needed:

- One 26" bar chainsaw
- One 40' length of rope
- One half full gallon container of chainsaw bar oil
- One four wheel drive Kabuto tractor
- One Brad
- One Air Traffic Mike wearing his "Chainsaw" outfit

I tied the container to the end of the rope and launched it up over the branch. Got it on the first try. Not bad considering it was about a 20 foot toss in the air. Brad tied the rope to the bucket of the tractor and the other end to the limb via a slip knot. I walked down the trunk of the tree. Courtesy of the lay of the land I was going to be chainsawing the limb, standing on the trunk, 8 feet off the ground while a man on a tractor would be keeping tension on the limb so it wouldn't hit the house.

I'm pretty sure OSHA would not approve of this.

Brad and I gave our best guesses, if successful, as to how far from the house the approximately 1,000 pound branch would land. Brad estimated "about a foot". I guessed, "really fucking close".



As you can see I even managed to miss the chainsaw gas can. Its that little red thing between the 1/2 ton limb and the first step of the porch.

Here's the view of the whole downed limb:



and here's a view of the tree it came from:



I wanted to cut it completely off but common sense prevailed. It was much more important to get it away from the house and on the ground.

We knocked off about 1:30 pm due to the humidity and heat. Honestly, I needed an afternoon off. We'd been going at it pretty hard this past week.

I hit the shower. Pat and the boys came back with a used boat Pat had purchased earlier in the Summer. He had some work done to it and the boat folks called him at the ball field to tell him it was ready. We gave it a good look over and went back in the house. Pat was pretty exhausted from the work week as well.

I took to the computer and was writing yesterday's blog when Pat hands me a bowl of minced onion and another bowl with minced green bell pepper. "Here, make something out of the clams in the 'fridge. I'm going upstairs to take a nap."

Who don't like a good food challenge?

If you sautee bell pepper, onion, garlic, and celery, add some tomato paste and brown it, add live clams and a bit of water, salt and pepper, cover with a lid and cook it over medium heat for three minutes, it looks like this:



I highly recommend eating it with crusty French bread.

Today was our day off. So what did we do? We cut grass on two big zero turn lawn mowers. I'd like to point out we're talking about acres of grass. Fortunately, these machines are built for speed.



This afternoon, we just couldn't help it. The weather was really nice. We just had to take the boat out for a "shake down cruise". Besides, fishing is not a bad way to spend an hour or so. It was off to the Delaware River.



It was the perfect cap to a really busy week.

It is quiet here tonight. That's good. Tomorrow will bring the return of chainsaw blades flying, brush being loaded up and hauled, more sweat and strawberry flies.

Miss the old career? Not a chance. It feels good to feel alive again.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Return of Chainsaw Mike

Another day, another day of chainsawing, hauling limbs, timber, and debris.

I'm loving every minute of it.

Seriously.

Before I took on a very low physical impact career, I worked any job I could get my hands on. I worked in the back and front sides of restaurants. One year I cleaned floors at night at a nearby nuclear generating plant. Scary thing is that the guys I saw working at the plant finished lower than me in high school. Another Summer I spent three and a half months working for the Salem County Mosquito Commission. The first order of business? Chainsawing down a swath of trees 100 feet either side of a stagnated stream. The blocked water had become fertile breeding grounds for mosquitoes. The area to be chainsawed was about one half mile long as I remember.

Chainsaw Mike was born.

I learned how to operate, clean, field repair, and sharpen chainsaws. I was taught how to drop trees where I wanted them to fall instead of where they would like to go.

In college I got my first non-physical job. I was an RA in my dormitory. Easy money. I told my guys what I expected from them, made it clear I wasn't going to be a hard ass unless pushed, and that if pushed, I would feel no remorse for whatever happened next.

Random fire drills in the cold of Winter pretty much let them know what I meant. Especially when we took our time "clearing" the dorm to ensure ALL students were out.

However those days of labor were far behind me by the end of my career. Occasionally, when my best friend needed help on a project, I would come home and we'd get at it.

One year we hung mercury vapor lights inside the barn during a weekend snowstorm in February. We ended up getting around 40 inches of snow that weekend. I'll post pictures for the non-believers upon my return to Memphis.

This year the big storm. We have worked pretty hard the last few days. Tomorrow is the big push. We have another friend coming over to help us clear the back yard out. If we get that done, we're in great shape.

In the meantime, I'm resting this evening. By "resting", I mean I'm cooking a big fried chicken dinner for the Lloyd family while their younger son is playing in a Little League playoff game.

Guess that makes me "Fried Chicken Mike" tonight.

Y'all take care.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

What's So Great About New Jersey?

It could be the cheesesteaks from AJ's Tavern....



It could be the steamed blue claw crabs (very full number 1 Jimmies at that) from Shag's............



It could be having the chance to cook in a soup kitchen......



Or even just the chance to watch two great kids play baseball...





No matter. It is where I grew up.

It will always be "home" in my heart of hearts.

Limited chainsawing today due to rain.

Guess its time for a pizza steak with extra fried onions.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The "Air Traffic Mike World Tour 2009" Continues

Greetings and salutations from rainy South Jersey. My brother's health has reached the point where he is in a position to reclaim his independence.

That's an important step. He's been laid up for over five weeks now recovering from a flesh eating bacterial wound. We'll find out the state of his cancer in the next week or so. Earlier on his oncologist reported that the cancer had changed little during the infection. Apparently the infection had the side effect of holding the cancer growth back.

Subject his health is what my return to Memphis will be based on.

In the meantime my services are needed here in Pennsville. There was a severe wind storm here last week similar to "Hurricane Elvis" that hit downtown Memphis a few years ago. The winds here were clocked at 75 mph. By the damage I'm seeing here they may have been closer to the 90 mph range given the size of the trees it destroyed.

Some pictures of the damage:









Pat loading up just a small fraction of the brush:



One of many loads to come:



Mind you, this is just the driveway. The back yard and side yard are worse.

There is a huge barn, built on or near 1870, that took severe damage. It may have to come down. It doesn't look too bad until you get up close. Then you can see that some of the major support beams have been cracked and the foundation has taken a severe blow.

I would hate for my best friends to lose it. Not just for its utility, but more for its history. Its contructed of local hardwoods and was built in the post and beam construction style. You can not fathom just how many hand made nails alone are in this structure. It is an amazing structure, but the big boy is hurting. He took a shot that would have leveled other, less well crafted buildings. The barn will be tomorrow's post. Right now its is cloudy and miserable. I doubt I'd be able to get any good shots today.

Besides, the rain has stopped. That means just one thing. Time to start cutting.

Today, and for the rest of this week I have a new name.

Chainsaw Mike

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Nags Head, NC/Bruce's 50th Birthday

Needing a change of scenery isn't a bad thing. Especially when the scenery looks like this:



and the backyard:



We drove through some pretty heavy rain and winds to get here last night. My brother and sister in law's best friends drove down and met us here. It has been and up and down week for Bruce, but Nags Head is good medicine for him anytime regardless of the situation.

In this case, his situation is he just turned 50 yesterday.

"HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY, BRUCE!!!!!!!!!"


Honestly, the rest of us brothers were shocked he made it past 18 alive.

You know, some men of greatness get plaques.



Some get statues.



A few will get monumnets.



Fewer still will get a national holiday.



Only one gets immortalized at the



Kempsville AutoCare Center


I don't like to brag, but you'll notice it IS a NAPA AutoCare Center.

As you can see, he's absolutely elated.

Nothing but the best for our boy.



Today we rest and celebrate a half century of Bruce. My sister in law Donna, their best friends Mike and Lisa, myself playing the part of the fifth wheel (sponsored by "NAPA AutoCare ), and the NAPA AutoCare Center "Man of the Day" and birthday boy one day removed, Bruce.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I give it a 6.

Thanks to Mike and the gang at Kempsville Autocare Center for joining in the celebration. They're good folks over there, do great work, and have had the great foresight to employ (at various times including the present) my nephew, my neice, my sister in law's sister, and my sister in law's niece.

In spite of this, KAC continues to turn out quality work at good prices.

*insert Uncle Mike is such an ass comments here*

Anyway that's the state of the state.

For the Memphis gang an Air Traffic Mike World Tour '09 update:

Due to a severe windstorm last week in New Jersey, my return to Memphis will be delayed. I'm heading up there to cut up lots of trees God decided needing taking down on my best friend's place.

Thanks to Paully for getting us an update on Scratchy.

Any chance one of you guys can talk the Saucer or the Silly Goose into having a "Where's Scratchy?" contest?

See you guys soon. Have a safe weekend.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: University of Memphis Tigers Football Team Signs New Recruit, Fields New Program And Diet!

Meanwhile, back at the office:

Pope VinnyLXIX strolls into the offices of AIR TRAFFIC MIKE HEAVY INDUSTRIES, LLC. (the official social think tank of Air Traffic Mike).



"Hey Bloaty, is it ME, or has it been sorta dead 'round here lately?"



"What do you mean by DEAD, Robe Boy?"



"Yeah Vinny, you got a problem with the dead?"



"Jesus Christ, Floaty now I see what ATM has to put up wit. Hadn't yous guys evah hoid of a figger of speech?"



"A figure of speech? Nope, can't say as I have."



"I dropped out of obedience school."



"Dat figgers. No wonder you gets all da cake assignments."



"Ever write a horoscope your Holy Shitness?."



"Mike's got me doooin' dat dis very weekend."



"WHAT THE F?????????."



"I'm a guessin' dis is da foist time sumone has muscled in on ya toif, huh Roadkill."



"We'll see about that!"

Hey guys, what's new?



"You tell us. How in the Hell did I lose my horoscope slot?"

I'm doing some reorganization. Some of your duties will change, some will remain the same.



"WHAT THE F FOR?????????."

I'm trying to avoid layoffs. Times are tough. Downsizing is the "firing" of the 21st Century.



"So where do I fit in?"

I'm thinking about using you for a door mat.







C'mon Bloaty, I'm just pulling your leg.





Seriously, I'm just fooling about the doormat thing.





Stop staring at me. I've got a job for you. I think you're going to like it.





"Yeah? Like WHAT? A friggin' door stop?"

I'm putting you on the restaurant and entertainment columns.



"Seriously?"

Oh yeah. You're a gifted horoscope writer, but I need your skills over in entertainment. It really needs a jump start.



"Does it come with a raise?"

Bloaty, you DID hear the part about trying to avoid layofs, right?



"Doesn't mean a dead brother can't try, right?"

Yeah, okay, nice try.



"What aboud mah boy Guido the Snitch?"

I'm working up a long term project for him Vinny. Remember, he comes out of your budget, but he's safe from the axe.



"I could always arrange a *sinking* ATM."

Well, we'll see. *Sinking* Guido would be good fodder for the sweeps period, but I've kinda gotten used to him and his place in the crew.



"Okay den ATM, no *sinkins* for Guido until you let the contract."

Thanks Vinny, you're a saint.



"What about me Mike? Am I getting new responsibilities as well?"

Are you kidding me? Floaty you're my "go to guy" when it comes to the U of M sports programs.



"Glad to hear it Mike. Want some dirt on the Tiger men's football program?"

I'd love some.



"Good. I'll have my Football Preview ready this week for publication."

Can you give us a hint as to what's to come?



"Sure. Coach West apparently is redefining "Innovative Defense" in Division 1 football. He's searched high and low looking for the right men for the right spots. Memphis defense has been suspect for a few years. This year Coach is taking the defense into a leaner and meaner vein."

So who's their brightest prospect?



"They've obtained a signed committment from one of the top middle linebackers in Italy."

Italy? Italy, as in the country Italy?



"Yeah. It was an extrordinary find."

So who is he?



"They got this guy:"



Joey "Bones" Garbonzo


Are you shitting me?



"Notta chance Mike. Last year the University spent a lot of money on food for the football team. Coach West watched as men weighing in excess of 250 pounds graze leisurely. They had lost their desire."

So how does an emaciated Eastern European fit in with the program?



"This year everybody will come into camp already assigned a starting position."

Huh?



"Yep, no more competing for a position."

So what are they competing for then?



"Food. They even worked it into the new motto:"

University of Memphis Tigers

"You Get Beat, We Eat"



Pretty gutsy move. That's way outside the box, even for the U of M. Nice to see that Coach West has them working with weights already.



"You're telling me. The weights are basically there just to hold them down.

Oh, I see. That makes sense.



The big news is the diet plan being put into place. The returning team members and incoming recruits have already been shipped a book outlining their preseason diet. Coach West wants everybody to be in shape for the new program."

So what's the book?



"This one right here:"



"When Irish Eyes Are Dying:"

The Bobby Sands Diet


Okay Floaty, looks good. I'm looking forward to the full report. Keep up the good work an we'll see you on the weekend.



"Thanks Mike. I'll lock up the shop as I leave."

Have a good day folks.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.