Monday, May 24, 2010

"Baby, How Long, Will You Keep Me In The Penalty Box?"

The title line comes from a song.

That song MAY just become "Rhondo The Wonder Idiot's" theme song.


Rhondo The Wonder Idiot

For those not familiar with the song, it was a novelty song crooned by a man named David William Schultz.

Those of us familiar with NHL ice hockey know him as Dave "The Hammer" Schultz. He made the number "8" a cuss word to the rest of the NHL.


A typical day at the office for "The Hammer".

"The Hammer" earned his nickname as one of the hardest hitting and fightingest players in his day.

He was a key cog in the Philadelphia Flyers "Broad Street Bullies" years.

To this day he still holds the NHL record for the most penalty minutes in a single season at 472.

The song, "Penalty Box", was a tongue in cheek nod to his penchant for fighting.

Click on this link, scroll down halfway, and you can hear it.

So then, what's Rhondo The Wonder Idiot's connection to this song?

He's on the fast track to break the 472 minute mark this week alone.

A while back Rhondo was having behavioral issues.

To save time, let's just say he was quick on the draw with a hiked leg. His last day of unrestricted freedom came when he hiked a leg on a freshly washed sofa slipcover in plain sight of the sofa's/home's owner.

Gutsy move for a dog on it's fourth home.

Because of that behavior his freedom was immediately limited to being out of the penalty box only when supervised by a resident human.

If all the resident humans had to be somewhere other than home, Rhondo had to be in his doggie crate.

That worked very well for quite some time.

Unfortunately, not long enough.

Two days ago, Rhondo was behaving rather oddly. He started off the day perky.

He was perky when we came back from the grocery store.

A little later on he seemed sad. He wasn't wagging his tail. He was lethargic.

We both wondered what got into him.

It was what got out of him that made trouble.

We wouldn't discover for another day.

Chris reached down to get a roll of paper towels out the 12 pack in the corner. Something looked amiss.

The package was a bit shiny. Shiny on the side and shiny on the floor.

Some days it doesn't pay to be the only male dog in the house.

A trial was held. The evidence was overwhelming. He was convicted by a jury of his curs.


For his crime against paper towels, Rhondo was sentenced to the crate with the possibility of early release for good behavior.

Meanwhile, stir fry vegetables are at the standby.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

poor Rhondo. He's just misunderstood

Air Traffic Mike said...

Dear Anonymous,

Send me your mailing address and we'll send you Rhondo.

Now there's a deal you just can't beat.

The piss stains are free.

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