Sunday, November 21, 2010

VIVA EL TOSTADOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a lazy Sunday morning.

I'm not feeling particularly creative.

That's one advantage of having a Rhondo the Wonder Idiot around.

A few weeks ago, he debuted his superhero alter ego "R. Hondo" better known as "El Tostador".

Sadly, even as "El Tostador", he can't seem to shake his "Rhondo the Wonder Idiot" roots.

It's damned near impossible to carry out ANY "El Tostador" superhero missions when found whimpering in the driveway on a slightly tangled tether:

Here's a closer view:

"El Tostador" was not having one of his braver moments.

To be fair, I offered Rhondo a chance to rebut this morning's blog.

Ladies and gentlemen, "Rhondo the Wonder Idiot's" rebuttal:

"ATM, can I get a *mulligan* on that one?"

"Not a chance."

"Damn it."

"Anything else you'd like to add to that?"


There's an old saying that goes, "Some days feathers, some days chicken.".

Rhondo's leading the league in "feathers".

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Splitty The Maul Vs. History

It's no secret that Splitty the Maul loves to go sightseeing.

This morning I found Splitty sitting in front of my lap top computer.

Splitty had just opened it up when I walked in the room.

He's been cooped up lately and wanted to go out and see some more of the area.

Seeing as I had errands to run, I agreed to take Splitty along for the ride.

Mauls dig riding in cars.

I was no sooner out of the driveway when Splitty asked if we could go down to the boat ramp.

Splitty has always liked the water, so I was happy to oblige.

It didn't take long to get to the river.

Splitty jumped out, leaned against the truck, and took in the sights.

After studying it for a few minutes, he asked a question.

Mauls are full of questions.

The conversation went like this:

"ATM, what river is this again?"

"It's the Delaware River."

"That's Delaware over there?"

"Yeah it is, Splitty"

"Didn't George Washington cross the Delaware River during the Revolutionary War?"

"As a matter of fact, he did. He and the Continental Army crossed north of here from Pennsylvania and landed near Trenton to attack the British and Hessian forces as they slept."

"Washington should have crossed down here."

"Why is that?"

"It would have been a lot easier."

"How so?"

"He could have used the boat ramp."

"Ummmmmm, Splitty? The boat ramp wasn't there at the time."

Splitty paused for a moment and sighed.

"Guess that leaves the bridges out as the other option, huh."

There's a reason I leave Splitty home on Trivia Tuesday's at The Flying Saucer back home.

It was time to head out and get some errands done.

I explained to Splitty the conditions at Valley Forge and that General Washington needed to get supplies for his men.

I pulled into Walmart to pick up some bread.

Splitty suddenly had an "AHA!!!!!" moment.

"General Washington could have saved a lot of time if he'd crossed the river down here and foraged at Walmart!!!!!!", he blurted out.

I had to explain to him that neither Arkansas nor Sam Walton had been invented in the late 1700's making his idea impossible.

Splitty sighed, then looked out over a nearby field.

"ATM........what's Arkansas?", he quietly asked.

"It's that land across the Mississippi River from my condo Splitty.", I answered back.

"That's Arkansas? What kind of name is Arkansas anyway?, he asked.

"It's an old Indian word for *Land of Walmart*", I replied confidently.

Mauls.........always with the questions.

I came back with the bread.

Since Splitty hadn't been out much of late, I decided we'd stop in Salem on our way out into the county for more shopping.

It didn't take long to get there.

I parked on Market Street to take advantage of the two hour free parking.

We were right across from the old Salem Courthouse. This is the side view of the building.

It had recently been redone, but sadly it was closed when we got there.

Even more sad, they have a "No Maul" policy.

I suppose some folks would think to use a maul as a weapon.

Splitty was not happy about the matter and viewed the buildings from the car.

A quartering front view.

Front view.

A few doors down, on the same side of the street, is the Salem Presbyterian Church.

I think it is one of the most beautiful churches in South Jersey.

Splitty agrees.

I headed down the street to get some more pictures and came across this relic.

Ask a 20 something what a "Fallout Shelter" is sometime.

I love churches that look like churches.

Churches that look like shopping malls on the outside and television studios on the inside, like Bellevue Baptist Church in Cordova, TN, leave me cold.

I can almost hear someone say, "It's your one stop God shop.", every time I go past it.

Someday I fully expect to hear, "The Gospel According To Duuuuuuuuuudddeeeee" come from one of those spiritual broadcast facilities.

Give me the old church architecture anytime.

Right next to the church sits an old home converted into some County offices.

I'm pleased that the powers that be have saved this old house over the years.

Across the street is the original location of the Salem County Memorial Hospital (now known as The Memorial Hospital of Salem).

The building began it's life as a hotel.

Now, it serves as a County office building.

I'd have loved to have stayed longer, but I did have errands to run.

Besides, Splitty was ready to see some other stuff.

We headed out towards the middle of the State.

New Jersey is called "The Garden State" for good reasons.

One of those reasons is Sunny Slope Farms. My Dad used to take us out there to buy apples in the Fall.

Even though it's at the end of the season, I headed out on the off chance that they would still have some "Winesap" apples.

They did.

The entrance to one of my favorite places. They STILL have the free apple cider for their visiting customers. It's STILL delicious, too.

Just a few of the over 1,000 acres of land they farm.

I've bought a 1/2 bushel of "Winesap" apples to make apple sauce out of.

Gotta love the old classic recipes.

It was good to see they are still in business and doing well.

Too many farms have vanished into big corporate conglomerate operations.

I still had one more stop to make.

The last time I was there was more than 20 years ago.

Niblock's Pork Store.

It's still not much bigger than a small truck.

However, the pork is still exceptional. Fresh sausage, outstanding bacon, real keilbasa (not that crap you get from Hillshire farms), and all things pork from ribs to chops to roasts.

I bought four 2 inch thick center cut chops to start. Two pounds of bacon, two pounds of link fresh keilbasa, and two 2 inch thick ribeye steaks later, I was ready to head home.

Besides, Splitty had fallen asleep in the truck.

Such is the life of a maul.

Tonight, a quiet evening in cooking up some of today's "harvest".


Who knows.

There's never a bad day for lounging around in the pj's until noon.

Sounds like a plan.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Rhondo Vs. The River

......and give us this day our daily Rhondo.

Nice try boy, nice try.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.