Like Some Cheese With That Whine?

Texans are some of the biggest f*cking babies in the world.

They like to brag about how tough they are.

Some of them still refer to what's basically north Mexico as "The Republic of Texas".

One of their slogans is "Everything is bigger in Texas".

Okay Texas, here's a new slogan.

"We're A State Of Whiny Bastards!!!!"

You're the state leading in the creation of jobs. Unfortunately, most of those "jobs" are minimum wage paying, service industry jobs.

Maybe you can change your state motto to "Do you want fries with that order?"

Texans are whining about Longhorn football. They're whining about the demise of the Dallas Cowboys.

Let's not even talk about the Houston Texans football program.

Not out of disrespect, mind you. It's just that even Texans don't talk about it.

Let's face it, most of Texas is suitable only for testing nuclear devices. The state tree, the Mesquite shrub, is only usable for smoking meat. If it weren't for the presence of oil, the state would largely be empty.

If solar power can do only one thing, I would hope that it could rid us of Texas and it's whiny citizens.

Their latest whine really sticks in my crawl.

You ask what it is?

They are whining over the fact that NASA didn't award them a used Space Shuttle.

Oh my fucking God, the horror.

Why would they even consider giving Texas a shuttle?

It's not like Texas is a top tourist destination. Texans go back to Texas, kind of like a dog turns around to sniff its own shit after taking a dump. Other than that, I'm not sure I know someone who has gone there other than to visit family. Family who are stuck "Living the Dream" of being stuck in North Mexico Texas.

Texas was given a fully equipped Saturn V rocket after the Federal government scrapped the Moon program. What did the Texans at NASA do with it? They left it outside in the salt laden air of Houston.

It took over thirty years of rotting away for them to figure out they should build a climate controlled structure around it.

Nice.

Way to go.

The idea likely came from a NASA employee transferred to Texas.

Oh yeah, and while we're at it, let's talk about Presidential security. Texas couldn't even protect President Kennedy on his November, 1963 visit.

Nice job, guys.

Then, to go even one better, you couldn't even protect the man accused of killing the President.

Maybe the state motto should be "Ship of Fools".

You gave us Lyndon Baines Johnson and George W. Bush as Presidents (although you DID kill Kennedy to get the former in the White House initially). Eisenhower was born in Texas, but his family was smart enough to get the fuck out.

Now, you Texans want to foist off Governor Rick Perry on the country.

Rick Perry couldn't spell NASA even if you spotted him two consonants and a vowel.

So you guys want a used shuttle?

Maybe you should get off your asses and gather up the missing pieces of the Space Shuttle Columbia.


Nice job, Houston.

You guys probably could have warned the crew of the ice damage sustained after you took control of the flight. After all, it happened on your watch.

For all their whining, Texas just isn't worth it.

So here's what we do.

We sell the land and citizens back to Mexico and lease the mineral rights. It'll take a lot of material, but we then build a 100 yard wide, electrified razor wire fence. That should protect the surrounding non-whiny states. If it doesn't, then authorize the neighboring states to shoot to kill any whiny Texans trying to enter the United States illegally.

If Texas then wants to be a free country, let them whine fight for their independence from Mexico.

Screw you Texas, you're just not worth it.

Until the next time, all y'all (except for Texans) take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.