The Plummeting Value Of Charlie Sheen

If he was a commodity, he'd probably be valued at the price of cow dung.

My deepest apologies to cow dung for the unfair analogy.

Charlie Sheen was making between $1.25 and $2.0 million per episode of the hit sitcom, "Two And A Half Men". Surely that's enough to make anybody happy, right?

I suppose it depends on how you define "happiness".

Most folks I know are happy with what they have. It doesn't mean they wouldn't like to be doing better. It's just that they have enough.

Apparently, Charlie Sheen doesn't.

After several high profile problems over the years involving drugs, alcohol, hookers and porn stars, most folks would probably advise Charlie that it might be a good idea to keep a low profile.

Apparently, Charlie doesn't agree.

At least that's what his recent behavior seems to be pointing to.

Trash a New York City hotel room? Meh, it was a misunderstanding.

It's nothing a little time in the hospital can't cure.

He seems to be currently concentrating on things that make Charlie happy.

Put people out of work?

It's not about them.

It's about Charlie.

Embarrass the family, including five children (ranging from the ages of 26 years old to just shy of four years old) in public?

Screw them.

It's not about them.

It's about Charlie.

Seems it's ALL about Charlie?

Funniest Charlie Sheen joke of the day?

Gotta be this one from the gang over at the "Onion".

Looks like Charlie's gonna need some money.

I'm not sure what "market price" is on a suitcase full of cocaine and what a weekend of porn stars "rentals" runs these days, but I'm sure it's not cheap.

All I know is that the value of Charlie Sheen is dropping at an alarming rate.

He's got to do something fast.

A $10 million advance on a "tell all" book might help.

Now I read that "Good Time Charlie" is going to sue CBS and anybody else his lawyers can find over his lost pay and mental anguish for his cancelled show.

The one they cancelled because Charlie was allegedly out of control with drugs and hookers.

A $320 million lawsuit victory would probably fund a lot of porn star/cocaine benders.

It would also add a lot of value to the product called "Charlie Sheen".

You know, "Charlie Sheen" as played by Carlos Irwin Estevez.

Yep, $330 million is a lot of value for a damaged acting franchise.

Except one thing.

That doesn't do me any good.

I don't give a shit what he's worth as an actor or anything else.

However, the gang over at "Air Traffic Mike Heavy Industries, LLC. (the official social think tank of Air Traffic Mike), sees the franchise called "Charlie Sheen" as a way for them to make money.

NOTE: For those unfamiliar with "Air Traffic Mike Heavy Industries, LLC. please click here.

Money off the back of an actor going supernova right in front of the world?

You bet.

They advised me years ago to put "Charlie Sheen" in my "Death Pool". For those unfamiliar, a "Death Pool" is sort of like the lottery. Instead of picking numbers, you pick out famous people you think will die during the year. Ghoulish? Perhaps to some, but that's their opinions.

For me it's harmless entertainment.

Now I'm sure there are those out there who play for money. I just play for the sport of it. Unfortunately, the current incarnation of "Charlie Sheen" brings little value to my point total if he dies. He's making it look like a sure thing.

Let's face it, the odds of any middle aged, oversexed, alcoholic junkie of dying are slightly above average. His are approaching even money. If he was a racehorse running in a parimutuel, he be what's called a "chalk bet". That is, he'd be the favorite to "win".

Hard to make points in the overall pool when the guy's odds of dying are 1 to 1 or better.

During "open season" I might have to swap him out for a longer shot.

Like this guy:



I think the handicappers would agree with me, too.

Hopefully Kirk Douglas will be around for a bit longer.

At least until "open season" so I can swap him in.

Speaking of "Death Pools", it's time for me to take some medicine.

I'm fighting some early stage bronchitis with a Z-pack, some prescription steroids, and cough syrup.

Not quite a suitcase of coke and some hookers, but just being able to breathe clearly and sleep is good enough for me tonight.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

So How Is Billy Doing?

He's doing great.

We've had him to the veterinarian twice. Not for bad things mind you. It was important for both Christine and I to get him thoroughly checked out after his ordeal.

He was all of five pounds by the time he made it to the Cumberland County SPCA. That's a significant weight loss for a dog that should weigh 11 to 12 pounds. He was literally on death's door by the time the man who he's named for mercifully got him there that cold night.

It took us a couple weeks to bring him home. He was in foster care during that time. His weight situation required a more hands on approach. By the day we got him home he weighed in at 9.9 pounds.


Billy's first night home. Notice how pronounced his breast bone is. He had lost quite a bit of muscle during the ordeal. His ribs stuck way.

As of last week his official weight was 11 pounds nine ounces. His muscle tone has returned. Dr. Mike, our trusted veterinarian, was pleased at his condition and weight.

Now it's a matter of keeping him near that weight.


Billy at nearly 12 pounds.

He's energetic.

While he's still standoffish to folks he just meets, he's warming up much quicker. The trust he lost he's slowly finding again.

He's a quintessential "lap dog" with the family.

He fits in like he's been here since his birth, not the three weeks since his adoption.

When Billy the repairman told me this story I had no idea what to expect. All I knew is that I had to have this dog. Not for us, for him. I knew Christine and I could give this forlorn soul the peace, comfort, and love he desperately needed. We owed it to him, we owed it to ourselves, and we owed it to the memory of Rhondo.

This afternoon, Billy and I were relaxing in the living room playing a game of "Fetch" with his favorite toy.

I tossed the toy over by the storm door. Billy ran after it like a bat out of Hell.

He got to the door and stopped dead in his tracks.


It was obvious that he'd spied something up in the tree.


Looks like we got us a damned fine "squirrel hound".

All I have to do now is teach him how to climb trees.

Maybe when I get back from my upcoming return to Memphis.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Splitty The Maul, Chick Magnet

Let's face it, when it comes to getting the ladies' attention, Splitty The Maul has all the tools.


He's the strong, silent type.


He's trim and rock solid.


He has rakish good looks.

Take in his other talents and you can see why he's considered a "Renaissance Maul".

Recently, on a "snow day" where school was cancelled, Splitty and I were over at Doc's farm. We were hanging out. Doc and I decided a couple of afternoon cocktails would be nice.

Doc opened the freezer only to see that the ice maker had jammed up. The ice had lifted the safety arm and turned the ice maker off the night before.

Seeing that our drinks were in immediate danger, I offered to go get some ice. Splitty and I loaded up into the AirTrafficMobile and headed for the closest package store.

Due to the morning snowfall, the ice vendor had not delivered to the store. All they had left was block ice.

It would have to do.

Splitty and I drove back to the farm only to find out Doc doesn't own an icepick.

Not having an icepick can be a real problem.

But not if you have Splitty.

Now seeing as how an eight pound maul hitting an eight pound block of ice can be hard on the average kitchen counter top or sink, we opted to let Splitty work his "magic" outside.


Splitty wanted a "before" picture so I obliged him.

Mauls can be vain sometimes.


It didn't take long for the word to spread throughout the farm that Splitty was going to do some heavy busting.


Splitty posed for a souveneir picture with the girls.

What can I say? Chicks dig the maul.

I took some steps back for safety's sake.

I left the chickens to their own devices.

Splitty took careful aim, leaned waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back, and..............


POW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was a direct hit.

Crushed ice ala Splitty.

I won't even get into how he is at stirring drinks.

The chickens were highly impressed.

With the show over, we retired back to the kitchen and enjoyed a couple of ice cold vodka with bitter lemon.

Nice way to end a snow day.

You ask, "Where in the cornbread Hell is the snow in those pictures?".

It had mostly melted by noon.

The best of all snow days. The unnecessary one.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Ait Traffic Mike, ret.

The Weekend In Review

Wow, what a three day weekend.

On a humorous note, courtesy of four inches of snow, for most it became a four day weekend.

Then again, as you are all aware, I'm currently on 365 day weekends.

Still, it was a great weekend regardless of the duration.

I gave you folks an early glimpse of it in this blog a few days ago.

Remember the Romesco sauce Doc made?


Looks great, doesn't it?

It tasted even better.

I held it back for the next night.

Sunday is called "Sunday FunDay" amongst myself and the downtown Memphis crew.

Sunday, with so much good food at hand, lived up to the moniker.

First I started with a nice Winter soup:


"Air Traffic Mike's Split Pea and Smoked Turkey Soup".

It's a big pot of "happy".

Christine, her oldest daughter, and I spent a quiet afternoon enjoying it.

I spent the majority of the afternoon online and listening to "Prairie Home Companion" on the radio.

Pretty soon, it was dinner time.

For Sunday night dinner, I took two of the four 28 day, dry aged, Prime New York Strip steaks (masterfully done at the hands of the good Doctor himself) and a nice portion of Doc's Romesco sauce, and broke out the pots and pans.

What's a brother to do with a magnificent bounty like that?

Sumpin' like this:


Pan seared, oven finished strip steaks, cheese ravioli with Romesco sauce, asparagus (Al dente, of course), and some nice grated Locatelli cheese.

That's as fine a meal as you'll find in any restaurant.

Monday, I had planned to lay low, get some stuff done, and chill out.

That's how us retirees roll.

Sometime around 11:00 am I got a text from Doc. Apparently, Doc's oldest son Wally wanted some pierogies.

For the uninitiated, pierogies are Polish soul food.

"Q", being "Q", decided it was a good idea for him and Dad to make some.

Was there any chance that Doc and "Q" could pull off this "Iron Chef Polack"?

As if there was any doubt:




It was a classic "Team Lloyd" operation.

Remember, they have "Mad skills".

Gotta admire that sort of stuff.

Today, a trip to the doctor for me to get some test results.

Today's blood pressure: 112/77.

Sure as Hell beat the numbers five weeks ago.

Tonight, "Texas Hold'em" at a local tavern.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

In Preparation For The Return

In a few short weeks I'll be back in Memphis.

I have my taxes to do, a couple small Spring festivals to attend, and need to check on the condo.

It doesn't seem like I've been gone that long, but I know I have.

Before I go I have some important maintenance issues I need to address. The AirTrafficMobile is due for an oil change and a new timing belt. At the time of my retirement, the AirTrafficMobile had 70,000 and some change miles on it. I was averaging, courtesy of working scheduled six day work weeks, around 7,000 miles per year at the end. Now, 22 months later, it's sitting on the cusp of 110,000 miles. It still gets 27 mpg on the open highway, rides well, and looks good for it's age. It will be ten years old come December.

However, the AirTrafficMobile isn't the only thing requiring some routine maintenance. It's principal driver/owner has some scheduled as well. After a couple of years of denial, I finally went to the doctor about my hypertension. A blood pressure reading of 212/105 is nothing to sneeze at.

It IS one you can stroke out to.

It is my goal for my retirement years to well surpass my years spent working. A stroke could possibly put a damper on that.

So, while I was at the doctor's office tending to my blood pressure problem, I arranged for a full physical. The age of 50 is sort of the 100,000 mile mark for humans in my mind. It's a good time to get all the major systems checked out. Two weeks ago, they did an abdominal ultrasound. That was done as a precaution. My father died from an abdominal aneurysm.

Last week I stopped in to have some blood samples taken.

Remarkably, my blood wasn't brown and sludgy in appearance.

There were no visible chunks of butter or animal fat.

It didn't smell like beer.

Now then, what the tests reveal may be another thing.

I'll find that out tomorrow when the doctor completes the remainder of the physical.

Then, next week, the big one.

Because of my late brother's colon cancer, the doctor wanted me to have a colonoscopy done. I can't say that I'm looking forward to it.

I mean sure, they're going to put me under. I have no problem with that.

I have no problem with how the procedure is conducted.

This won't be my first one.

My main worry is if they find something.

In all honesty, not knowing would be a lot worse.

My late mother and brother were both blindsided with their diagnoses. For both of them, by the time the cancer was found it was too late.

So, barring any unforeseen complications, I'll be heading back to Memphis after that.

Looking at the calendar, I could possibly be home in time for the first "Sunday FunDay" in March.

I'll keep you folks in Memphis advised.

Untile the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Mad Skills

My best friend's youngest son has them.

This isn't to short his older brother. Wally is an amazing guy in his own right.

Quentin, "Q" as he's better known, just does so many things well he's on his way to being a "Renaissance Man" at the ripe old age of 13.

He's an excellent student.

He's an outstanding baseball player.

He not only "knows" food, he can gather it and prepare it, too.

Case in point, pheasant.

Life on a small farm comes with chores, but it also comes with advantages. "Q" eyed up a pheasant the other day. It was a really nice male, big and plump. Fine eating any day, anywhere.

With his Dad's permission, he went out and took a shot at it:


Classic "Q". He shoots, he scores.

He breasted it out himself.

Now "Q" wears a lot of different "hats" when it comes to cooking.


"Q", the pastry chef version, showing off his latest creation.


Did I mention that the entire pie was made from scratch including the crust?


You want perfection? Two perfect slices.

It was awesome.

Prior to this he had made peanut butter cookies with a Hershey's kiss in each.

This kid can do it all.


Doc passed the time, waiting to take over the kitchen, by making an original version of olive salad.

Pretty soon, "Q" finished cleaning up his tools.

Just in time, too.

Doc wanted to make some Romesco sauce.

Pretty easy to see where "Q" gets his love of cooking from.


Doc's finished pans of Romesco sauce.

Today, I'm having my own "Kitchen Day".

I'm making a pot of Split Pea and Smoked Turkey soup to go along with some Cheese Ravioli with Doc's Romesco Sauce, and dry aged prime NY Strip steaks that Doc dry aged himself.

Okay, Doc's got some "Mad Skills" too.

Seems to run in that family.

It's a blessing to be able to see it first hand.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

How Long Before Someone Snaps Again?

Seriously.

I have this ominous feeling some nutjob is going to crack somewhere soon.

I don't know where or when, but with the tumultuous times around us it will probably happen again sooner than later.

There's already been one attempted political assassination this year. Fortunately, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords survived the attack and is on the mend.

Meanwhile Governor Scott Walker in Wisconsin is using the state budget as an excuse to gut collective bargaining rights for state employees.

As you can see he's opened up a real can of worms. He's got tens of thousands of protesters in the street and State Capitol building. He's got all 14 Democratic and 2Republican State Senators not coming to work in order to stall a vote on his budget. Apparently the new Governor didn't read the part of the rules that requires both political parties be on hand to vote on the budget.

He's accusing them of fleeing.

He's full of shit.

They know the rules. They are using them to keep from having a unilateral decision shoved down their, and their constituents' throats.

If it wasn't such a serious matter, I'd find the whole thing amusing.

Way out there on the East Coast, my other favorite Governor, "The Flubbernor" Chris Christie of New Jersey is busy starting his own fight.

Again.

The three ton favorite son made a media event of vetoing 14 bills designed to create jobs and offer tax breaks to small businesses. With his characteristic disdain he opened up the press conference by dropping the 14 vetoed bills on the podium.

Real classy.

I swear, some days all the guy is missing is a clown nose and floppy shoes.

I'll be shocked if the guy doesn't run for President in 2012.

By then he'll have pissed off not only the folks in New Jersey, but the other 49 states as well.

Don't get me wrong. I wish no ill will towards either of these men. If "Tubbernor" Christie dropped by I'd be happy to split a dozen doughnuts and some tea at breakfast.

I don't hate the guy. I'm just not a fan of his style.

Getting back to my point, I fear for them and a lot of public officials. There are a lot of people stressed out about the economy, their livelihoods, and their future. All it takes is for someone in that group to have one bad day and assign the blame to a politician.

History points towards controversial politicians in the majority of incidents.

The guy who tried to kill Jackson was a delusional unemployed house painter whose flintlock pistols failed to fire.

President Jackson lit into him with his cane.

Lincoln was assassinated by a Confederate sympathiser.

Garfield was assassinated by a spurned would be lawyer who was not given an ambassador's post.

McKinley was assassinated by an anarchist.

Teddy Roosevelt was shot by an irate saloon keeper. The speech in his pocket and his eye glass case slowed the bullet.

Roosevelt gave the speech with the bullet lodged in him.

Franklin Roosevelt was shot at by a poorly educated brick layer who was a loner and had issues with "capitalist" presidents and monarchs.

Harry Truman was targeted by two pro Puerto Rico independence activists. The attempt was made at the Blair House. A gun battle broke out between the two and the White House police.

Before Lee Harvey Oswald, Richard Paul Pavlick, a retired postal worker tried to blow up Kennedy with a car load of dynamite.

Every President since Kennedy has had at least one attempt made on their lives.

That's a sad fact.

There are a lot of angry people out there these days.

I just hope those who engage in angry political rhetoric remember that.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Maybe We'll Just Stay Home....

I had to laugh when I read this article.

The country of Iran really thought sending two warships through the Suez Canal and parking them north of Israel in Syria was a good idea?

Actually, I am a bit disappointed.

I'd like to see them try.

Now before you go calling me a "war monger" let me say I'm no fan of violence. Most things in the world can be solved peacefully using reasonable methods.

Unfortunately, the President of Iran, uh, what's his name........


"Ali Ali Oxinfree!!!!"

"No Splitty, that's not it."


"Should be."

"Splitty, we try for accuracy as much as possible around here."


"You'd never make it working for Rupert Murdoch."

"Thank you for the compliment, Splitty"


"By the way, Iran's President is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."

"I think I like Ali Ali Oxinfree better."


"Yeah, me too."

Anyway, President Ahmadinejad doesn't seem like the rational sort. At least when it comes to Israel, anyway. Unless saying things like calling Israel, a "disgraceful little blot" can be construed as a peace initiative.

So it was no surprise that Israel called Iran on the move. It's also no surprise that Iran backed down. Israel has a history of dealing with things that it sees as a threat to its safety.

Like the time Iraq almost had a nuclear reactor. "Operation Opera" was a stunning air raid, pulled off perfectly.

Then there was "The Six Day War". While both sides dispute the actual cause of it, it proved that Israel could pretty much kick any of it's neighbor's asses if provoked.

I'm sort of a big fan of their "We'll just blow your shit up" diplomacy.

There is little doubt that Iran would be replacing two ships if they had tried to sail into the Mediterranean Sea.

President Oxinfree....


"Ahmadinejad."

President Ahmadinejad is smart enough to know that given the unrest in his country and the region, that losing a couple of ships and losing face to Israel might be enough to end his career.

I'm pretty sure that being President of any country is a pretty cushy gig. Well, until recently, anyway.

Maybe next time he'll send the ships through.

They'll look good on the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea.

Today, "Billy" gets to meet our good friend and veterinarian Dr. Mike.

It's guaranteed to be a "Kodak moment".


"Can I go to the vet too?"

"You're in, Splitty."


"Sweet."

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Don't Forget To Replace Your Divot, Sir.

The "divot" will be the least of the problems.

After all, it will be on the bottom of the Thames Estuary.

In August, 1944, near the town of Sheerness, England, a Liberty Ship at anchor dragged anchor and ran aground on a sandbar.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. Wait until high tide and float it away.

Unfortunately, Liberty Ships had "brittle backs". A few days later while cargo was being salvaged, the ship broke in half and sank.

While this was a bit of an inconvenience, it normally wouldn't be that big of a deal. Send in some divers, a floating crane, a few barges and it would be done in a few weeks.

However, with the invasion of the European continent in full swing, the British authorities decided it was acceptable to leave the wreck where it was.

Besides, when a ship is loaded with 3,173 tons of munitions containing 1,400 tons of high explosives is sitting peacefully on the bottom of the river, discretion is a must.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the "World's Most Dangerous Shipwreck", the S.S. Richard Montgomery.


Fine looking ship, isn't it?

The link above has some really awesome multibeam sonar images of the wreck as it appears on the bottom of the river.

It's now been on the bottom of the Thames Estuary for over 66 years.

It's still packing 2,800,000 pounds of explosive power.

Oh, and it's still property of the United States.

2,800,000 pounds of explosives. It would likely be one of the largest non-nuclear explosions in the history of the world.

Here at Air Traffic Mike's, we try to be a full service blog.

I wouldn't want you folks to miss out on the blast if and when it occurs.

Here's a nice webcam view of the river near Sheerness, England.

I don't expect the camera will last long. Previous estimates predict it will cause a wall of water around 1,000 feet high.

For locals safety, the government has installed some lovely yellow buoys warning of the danger:


Wow. Nice wording.

How about, "Warning: 2,800,000 pound equivalent of TNT in the area. It will blow your ass, and ours, to Kingdom come. Use of fireworks, handguns, and hand grenades prohibited."

The wreck is considered so hazardous, it's monitored both visually and by radar.

A lot of folks would think that all that explosive material is wet, and the chance of it going off is slim.

Well, that's what some experts thought in 1967 during a salvage operation in the English Channel. A Polish ship chartered by the U.S. government to transport munitions, the S.S. Kielce, sank in 1946 with about the same amount of ordinance. During the early stages of the salvage operation, the cargo exploded. The explosion was estimated to reach a magnitude of 4.5 on the Richter Scale.

Now then, that was in 27 meters of water, or just over 88 feet deep in the English Channel.

The S.S. Richard Montgomery is sticking out of the water.

In plain view of land.

Next to a town of 20,000 people.

I say clear out the town for a day and set it off.

But then, that's a "guy thing". We like big explosions.

Like this:



or this:


I particularly like how nonchalant the guys on deck are until they realize the mist/explosive residues are coming right at them.

I get the feeling it would be much worse for the folks in Sheerness.

So why let the ship going of be a surprise.

Make it an event.

Sell the rights to cable and divide up the proceeds amongst the citizens of Sheerness.

Heck, there's an off chance that nothing will happen.

Sort of like when Geraldo Rivera opened "Al Capone's Safe" on live TV.

However, if it goes off............



Until the next time, all y'all (especially the nice folks in Sheerness, England) take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

How Time Flies........

With all of the excitement surrounding "Billy's" adoption and his subsequent arrival here, I overlooked something very important on Saturday.

On Saturday, February 12, 2011, my late father would have turned 90. That's a heady number for me to even think about in terms of my parent's ages. So far, no member of my immediate family has ever reached that number. "Uncle Frank", my beloved step grandfather got close reaching the age of 85.

This morning I got to thinking, "What would Dad look like at 90 and how would he have dealt all the changes in life and technology, and more importantly, with the subsequent losses of our brother Gary, his wife/our Mom, and our brother Bruce?"

First off, Dad was an extremely intelligent man. He factored complex equations and chemical processes like most of us do simple math and tasks. He loved technology, especially in the form of cameras. I think that he'd have been excited by the computer revolution and the inception of the Internet. I can guarantee that he would have not only had a cell phone, but he would have the best of it's kind. The IPhone would have amazed him and would likely be his phone of choice.

The information available and communication possibilities of the Internet would have kept him busy all day. I'm voracious reader and I get that directly from Dad. He read at a high rate of speed with practically flawless retention. He would have loved having the ability to spend retirement days corresponding with other chemists working in the dye field. It would have been one of the things that would have kept his mind sharp and made him feel young.

However, the family losses would have been horrible to watch him go through. He loved all of us with all his heart. Even though he was tough on us, especially my brother Bruce with whom he often knocked heads with, deep down, we were his life. He always had three picture frames on his desk in the lab. One was a picture of Mom. One was a picture of us five boys. The other was for a solo picture of one of us boys during important times in our lives. Things like our Senior year in high school. Kevin and Bruce's pictures from boot camp in the Navy. My picture the year I entered into college. Family meant a great deal to him.

Dad hated funerals. He had been to all too many during and after World War 2. He couldn't bring himself to even attend his father's viewing. It was too much for him emotionally. He went to the service the next day, and nobody said a word to him about it. At least not his mother, brothers and sisters. Mom was livid about him missing the viewing.

Had he been alive when Gary was killed in 1987, he'd have been crushed. That alone may have precluded him from reaching 90. In Gary, Dad had a sort of partner in crime. He had a way of getting Dad to say, "yes" to things the rest of us would have been told, "Hell no!".

Losing Mom in 1993 would have probably almost killed him. He counted on Mom for stability. Mom ran a tight ship at the house. Everything, every day was on time and done right. From meals, to groceries, to cleaning, to taking care of sick kids, to you name it, Mom's house was a well oiled machine. She got away from that a few years after Dad died, but had he lived, the operation of the home would have been the same steady pace it always ran on. I could see that if Dad had to bury Mom he would likely have gone right behind her.

Had he survived those, the loss of Bruce would have absolutely destroyed him. He and Bruce always seemed at odds through Bruce's late teen years. Dad always wanted Bruce to live up to his potential every day. Bruce wanted to play golf, hang with his buddies, and chase girls. One Friday night Dad was grousing about Bruce's social schedule to Mom. "If Bruce put half as much effort into his grades as he does playing golf and chasing girls, he'd be a scholarship athlete at any university!", he grumbled over a small glass of whiskey and a cigarette. I pointed out to Dad that being a near scratch golfer, with great social skills would come in handy if he ever dated a rich girl.

My input was not appreciated.

Fortunately, Dad lived to see none of that. Unfortunately, he didn't live to see any of us boys graduate from college. He missed all of our weddings. He never got a dime of his hard earned retirement or Social Security. He never got to see Bruce really dig in and gut out his college degree and hit stride in his career. He never got to see or hold any of his grandchildren. He'd have cried at the news of having a grandchild. Underneath that gruff exterior, there was one of the biggest softees ever.

At this writing, his first great grandson is due in July.

I would have liked to have seen him try and hide the tears on that one.

None of that would ever come to pass.

He died a week short of his 59th birthday.

I go out to the cemetery about once every three weeks. I say a quiet prayer for him and thank him for everything he did for me and for every lesson he taught me.

Given his family history, he probably wouldn't have made it to 90.

I just wish he'd made it past 59.

Happy belated birthday Pop.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?

He's priceless.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Give 'Em The Scissors.......

and let them cut.

I do a lot of reading on a daily basis.

Hours and hours of it.

I follow three newspapers, local Memphis television news, CNN, Fox News, a slew of blogs, and the National Air Traffic Controllers Association (NATCA) bulletin board.

For the record, I am a charter member of NATCA. NATCA is the air traffic controllers union founded in 1987.

I get to hear a lot of shit from people about unions. Most of those people have never belonged to, or dealt directly with,a union. They "parrot" talking points they hear from what they see on television. Currently, according to Fox News and the "Tea Party", unions are the evil that's destroying our country and economy.

I'm pretty sure that no unions caused the last recession. I didn't read anywhere where the federal government directly bailed out a union.

Be that as it may, I'm not here to talk about that.

Not directly, anyway.

While reading posts on the NATCA "bulletin board" (available to members only) I ran across a discussion about this article. The new Republican majority in the House wants to slash the Federal budget.

And they mean right now.

Okay, we all know that the bailout, initiated by former President George W. Bush, was going to raise the National debt to an all time high. It was either do that or endure a recession that would likely surpass the Great Depression.

Now then, there's a lot of revisionism going on about whose nasty economic mess this is. This article with then President Bush encouraging Congress to pass his $700 billion bailout bill should put the argument to rest.

But, like I always told the folks I was charged with training as controllers, "It's not about how we got here, it's what are we going to do right now.". Something needs to be done. Spending needs to be reigned in.

The "Tea Party" segment wants to cut $100 billion from the Federal spending. That sounds good to the average man or woman on the street. After all, "government is too large". It interferes with business and the economy. You hear the same talking points over and over again. What they don't tell you is just how that will affect your every day life and how it is going to affect the economy.

Take this line from the Associated Press article above (the first hyperlink):

"The result would mean furloughs and layoffs for critical law enforcement personnel including the FBI and DEA, he said, according to descriptions of his remarks.

The Food and Drug Administration could be returned to funding levels in effect two decades ago, he said of potentially deeper cuts, and the Federal Aviation Administration would have to furlough all of its air traffic controllers for 41 days a year." (underline added)
Associated Press, 2/9/11

Furlough all it's Air Traffic Controllers for 41 days?

Really?

I want to see that. I want to see what happens when FedEx starts running delays into Memphis because of a lack of staffing. I want to see what happens when business jets can't get into the National Airspace System in a timely fashion. Wait until a Senator or Congressman can't get back to Capitol Hill from a weekend home because their flight is delayed or cancelled. Wait until some overstressed, undermanned sector puts two airplanes together.

Think that could never happen?

It already did.

Furloughs sound good, but in the end there is a real price to pay.

Think I'm kidding? Let's do the math. From a recent press release Memphis Tower has 34 ATCs and Memphis TRACON (the radar room) has 37 ATCs. Every one of them will be getting 41 days off over the rest of the year. We'll use March 1 as a starting point. That will leave 306 days. 44 five day work weeks remain.

37 ATCs x 41 furlough days = 1,517 controller furlough days(CFD)

1,517(CFD)/306 work days = 4.95751634 controllers off the daily schedule (call it 5)

With furloughs in effect most, if not all, overtime is out the window.

There are 10 primary positions of operation in the radar room, 8 of which would be in operation during a low visibility simultaneous instrument approach situation. That's a day where there is fog or storms in the metro area. It takes bodies to run these positions and two of them have to sitting at the Final Monitor Radar scope. Planes are landing on parallel runways whose centerlines a separated by a mere 4,309 feet. Not only can the pilots not see the ground until short final, they will never see the other plane. If one plane gets off the centerline of the Instrument Landing System, the controllers have to break out the adjacent airplane and get the stray airplane back on course.

No charge for the lesson in Air Traffic Control.

You need nine bodies to run that operation. Let's say a normal TRACON shift will need to start with 9 bodies. Under a furlough you don't have that. You have 7 or 6. That's if nobody gets sick or is on annual leave. Seven bodies is just enough to staff for simultaneous approaches if the Supervisor works as the Arrival Coordinator and an Operations Manager comes in and watches the Supervisor's desk.

However, if something happens, someone gets sick or injured, then the problems for the airport users start.

No Simultaneous Instrument Approaches.

All arrivals will have to be "staggered" to the parallel runways requiring the aircraft to be laterally separated from each other by either one and a half or two miles, depending on whether they use the center runway or the east parallel runway. The "runway acceptance rate" for the hour is horrible under these conditions.

There will be two runways to land on, that's it.

FedEx brings in around 160 flights between 10:30 pm and 1:00 am. They schedule their flights so as to land, off load, sort, reload, and taxi back out for departure beginning around 3:15 am.

They can't do that landing in IFR conditions, running staggered ILS approaches.

Time is money, and nowhere is that more true than FedEx's business model.

If FedEx isn't making money, people start losing jobs.

If flying becomes onerous to the general public, people stop flying. People stop flying, airlines start laying people off.

The ripple effect to the communities they serve will be felt immediately.

Now then, if that starts happening at Memphis, the 24th busiest airport in the nation, what's it going to look like at the biggest ones? Los Angeles? Chicago? Atlanta? Philadelphia? Washington D.C.?

Get the point?

There are a lot of other problems with the prospect of furloughs. Because of past hiring practices in the FAA, many facilities are forced to schedule overtime. I worked scheduled six day work weeks for the last two years of my career. It wasn't unusual to have three or four of us on overtime per day.

Cut that, and subtract five more people per day.

If you Google "air traffic control" you'll see all sorts of references to NextGen. It's the latest and greatest thing in aviation since the invention of the wing if you listen to all the talking heads out there. They're also the same folks who are trying to sell this boondoggle. The same folks who always seem to bid one price and then get the government to cough up more money for their cost overruns.

Folks like Lockheed-Martin.

ERAM (En Route Automation Modernization) is a small piece of this gee whiz system. It is also a huge success if you read their press. Notice it was written when the year of our Lord 2009 was in the future.

It's 2011, and things aren't quite so rosy as the Lockheed article would lead you to believe.

Here's the truth.

Here's some more truth. Note the date of the blog.

Here's an update from a controller last year.

Another update from last Fall.

And now, the latest.

They've spent $1.8 billion of a $2.1 billion contract, and Lockheed-Martin STILL hasn't got it right.

This is just a small piece of what "NextGen" will encompass.

How much more will the full system cost?

You don't want to know.

Lockheed has a history of "cost overruns" and of being bailed out using tax payers money.

Want to REALLY cut the Federal budget?

Stop fucking with people's careers.

Stop blaming unions.

Get the "private sector" out of the government's coffers.

Get the lobbyists out of your Representative's back pocket.

I say, "Let 'em cut.".

Only as long as they cut the correct fat.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

One Day To Go

Well here it is, feeling like Christmas Eve all over again.

Tomorrow, if all goes well, "Billy" will come home with us.

Both Christine and I are excited beyond belief.

I took for granted having a dog around here. Honestly, I didn't really give it a second thought. Heck, when I arrived here last Spring there were three little dogs living here.

I returned to Memphis in August.

"Butter" went with Christine's youngest daughter to live in Philly that month.

"Lilly" succumbed to old age in September.

Y'all know what happened with Rhondo last month.

Rhondo's passing left the house empty.

It was quiet.

Much too quiet.

Fate brought "Billy" into our lives. We took Fate up on it's kind offer.

It'll be nice having the pitter patter of Dachshund paws running across the floors again. "Billy" demonstrated the same curiosity that "Lilly", "Butter" and "Rhondo" had. He loves looking out the window. Christine calls it "Dachshund curiosity". I'll have the living room windows all nice and clean for his arrival.

Along with that, today I'll wash and dry the big square doggy bed. It was with a heavy heart Christine took it, along with the kennel, to the basement. Today they both come up in victory. A kennel is pretty much just a kennel, but the bed is a really nice, soft doggy bed. Our boy has slept too many times on a hard cold place. He'll have none of that again.

The squirrels in the backyard are in for a rude awakening Saturday morning. This morning they've been running on the roof since daybreak. That started a few days after we put Rhondo down. He never gave those squirrels an inch of "his" yard. Neither did "Butter". "Lilly" was a natural huntress. With the coast clear the local squirrels felt safe to come up to the house.

Once upon a time squirrels did thousands of dollars damage to my house in Tennessee.

I hate the little bastards.

My gut tells me "Billy" is going to be tough on them. I'm all for it. I want him to make it "his" yard. He deserves it.

3:00 pm Friday can't come soon enough. It will be a bit stressful for him. He's gone from being in a home somewhere to suddenly living on the street. Then from fighting for his life to the brink of death. From the brink of death to a shelter and almost immediately to foster care for a few weeks. Now he's moving again, only this time it's for good.

Dave the foster caregiver told us "Billy" didn't do well riding outside the kennel in his truck. It made "Billy" nervous. That makes me think that someone did, in fact, dump him by the side of the road. What living creature WOULDN'T get nervous in a car if the last ride damned near killed it? Christine will probably want to hold him, but we'll take the kennel just in case.

"Billy's" had quite a journey to date. We can only guess what happened to him before. After we get him settled in for a few weeks we'll make an appointment with Dr. Mike and get him a full check up. If he has a congenital defect like Rhondo had, we want to know up front and take care of it.

Today, cleaning dog stuff and picking up dog food.

Tomorrow afternoon, the words that close this chapter and the words the little fellow needs to hear the most:


"C'mon boy, let's go home."

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret

So How Did The Beef Turn Out????

I'd give it an "8".

Honestly, I should have gone with my tried and true marinade.

Yeah, I hear ya.

I get it.

It's a rib roast, not an eye round of beef.

Don't get me wrong, it was very tender and very tasty.

However, my marinade has a distinct advantage. The natural sugars in the red wine and light soy sauce trap the smoke and spices as they slowly caramelize on the surface of the meat.

Factor in the smoke permeating the meat as that happens.

Spicy, smoky crust. Smoky meat near the surface. Medium rare beef below.

Yesterday, I was only able to accomplish the last two.

It looked something like this:


Slowly coming up to temperature.


More hickory chips were needed.


That's more better.


The top of the finished product.


A view of the front.

I left a healthy portion of it at Doc's place. It was generous of him to allow me the use of the Kamado.

He sent a "Thank you" text this morning. He and the family enjoyed it and the gumbo I left at the house.

Unfortunately, an "8" isn't good enough in my book.

That means, at some point prior to my departure, I will have to do one more.

This time with the original marinade.

The original two day marination.

The "basting" as I add more wood chips during the process.

And this time, I'm going to pick a rib roast from Papa's Food Market:


Doc put me on to this place.

I highly recommend them.

In the meantime, I'm satisfied with the outcome of the last rib roast.

I just know I can do, and have done, better.

Oh well.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

But While We're Waiting,............

might as well cook.

There's a little Amish market nearby. I like shopping there because they have a pretty good meat case. It's not as good as the butcher shops in the Italian Market in South Philly, but it's above average.

Today's special?





Six and a half pound boneless rib roast, seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic granules, and sweet paprika.

Why six and a half pounds?

Because they didn't have a seven pounder in the case.

Now, I do have a lot of options on how to cook this.

I could roast it in the oven. Boring, but the classic approach.

I could cut it into steaks and grill them. That would be acceptable, but I don't feel like the steaks are the best option for this piece of meat. Besides, if I wanted rib steaks, I'd have bought rib steaks.

Maybe chop it up and grind it for burgers? Only if I wanted to really make people cuss.

It's too big to poach unless I want to do it on the top shelf of the dishwasher.

I could deep fry it using my brother's outdoor turkey fryer. Might be the world's record for a chicken fried steak, but I don't feel like making two gallons of white gravy to go with it.

Okay, now I'm just messing with you folks.

I've opted to smoke it. Smoking over hardwood is one of the nicest ways to prepare rib roast. It takes on a deep flavor that is outstanding either hot or cold. I think it makes the best sandwich meat. Smoked rib roast, Swiss cheese, horseradish sauce, served on a good crusty Italian roll is an absolute treat.

The key to smoking meats is having the use of a quality smoker. Courtesy of Doc, I have access to the best smoker in the world. A Kamado. Some folks know them as Big Green Eggs. That's a brand name.

I used to have one, but it was too large for the balcony at my condo. My ex didn't want it. I opted to give it to a friend of my after my divorce. He's now officially the fourth owner of that Kamado. It was 15 years old when a friend in New Orleans gave it to me. It's now 38 years old.

That my friends, is quality. All they require is a little care and they'll last you a lifetime.

Looking at the clock, it's time to go.

I'm going to do a low, slow smoke on this one.

Look for the pictures in tomorrow's blog.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.