If he was a commodity, he'd probably be valued at the price of cow dung.
My deepest apologies to cow dung for the unfair analogy.
Charlie Sheen was making between $1.25 and $2.0 million per episode of the hit sitcom, "Two And A Half Men". Surely that's enough to make anybody happy, right?
I suppose it depends on how you define "happiness".
Most folks I know are happy with what they have. It doesn't mean they wouldn't like to be doing better. It's just that they have enough.
Apparently, Charlie Sheen doesn't.
After several high profile problems over the years involving drugs, alcohol, hookers and porn stars, most folks would probably advise Charlie that it might be a good idea to keep a low profile.
Apparently, Charlie doesn't agree.
At least that's what his recent behavior seems to be pointing to.
Trash a New York City hotel room? Meh, it was a misunderstanding.
It's nothing a little time in the hospital can't cure.
He seems to be currently concentrating on things that make Charlie happy.
Put people out of work?
It's not about them.
It's about Charlie.
Embarrass the family, including five children (ranging from the ages of 26 years old to just shy of four years old) in public?
It's not about them.
It's about Charlie.
Seems it's ALL about Charlie?
Funniest Charlie Sheen joke of the day?
Gotta be this one from the gang over at the "Onion".
Looks like Charlie's gonna need some money.
I'm not sure what "market price" is on a suitcase full of cocaine and what a weekend of porn stars "rentals" runs these days, but I'm sure it's not cheap.
All I know is that the value of Charlie Sheen is dropping at an alarming rate.
He's got to do something fast.
A $10 million advance on a "tell all" book might help.
Now I read that "Good Time Charlie" is going to sue CBS and anybody else his lawyers can find over his lost pay and mental anguish for his cancelled show.
The one they cancelled because Charlie was allegedly out of control with drugs and hookers.
A $320 million lawsuit victory would probably fund a lot of porn star/cocaine benders.
It would also add a lot of value to the product called "Charlie Sheen".
You know, "Charlie Sheen" as played by Carlos Irwin Estevez.
Yep, $330 million is a lot of value for a damaged acting franchise.
Except one thing.
That doesn't do me any good.
I don't give a shit what he's worth as an actor or anything else.
However, the gang over at "Air Traffic Mike Heavy Industries, LLC. (the official social think tank of Air Traffic Mike), sees the franchise called "Charlie Sheen" as a way for them to make money.
NOTE: For those unfamiliar with "Air Traffic Mike Heavy Industries, LLC. please click here.
Money off the back of an actor going supernova right in front of the world?
They advised me years ago to put "Charlie Sheen" in my "Death Pool". For those unfamiliar, a "Death Pool" is sort of like the lottery. Instead of picking numbers, you pick out famous people you think will die during the year. Ghoulish? Perhaps to some, but that's their opinions.
For me it's harmless entertainment.
Now I'm sure there are those out there who play for money. I just play for the sport of it. Unfortunately, the current incarnation of "Charlie Sheen" brings little value to my point total if he dies. He's making it look like a sure thing.
Let's face it, the odds of any middle aged, oversexed, alcoholic junkie of dying are slightly above average. His are approaching even money. If he was a racehorse running in a parimutuel, he be what's called a "chalk bet". That is, he'd be the favorite to "win".
Hard to make points in the overall pool when the guy's odds of dying are 1 to 1 or better.
During "open season" I might have to swap him out for a longer shot.
Like this guy:
I think the handicappers would agree with me, too.
Hopefully Kirk Douglas will be around for a bit longer.
At least until "open season" so I can swap him in.
Speaking of "Death Pools", it's time for me to take some medicine.
I'm fighting some early stage bronchitis with a Z-pack, some prescription steroids, and cough syrup.
Not quite a suitcase of coke and some hookers, but just being able to breathe clearly and sleep is good enough for me tonight.
Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.
Air Traffic Mike, ret.
I Know DKDC
3 days ago