Back For A "Limited Time" From Food Hell.....

the McRib Sandwich.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

There are those that are big proponents of the thing.

I'm just not one of them

Give me Central BBQ any day.

For the rest of you, good luck with that next McRib sandwich.

May God have mercy on your stomachs.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Warning: Really Bad Pun Ahead...

Splitty the Maul gave me a hand with a small household project today.

Mostly, it was moral support seeing as there wasn't much room to work.


Splitty opted to "help" by having a beer in the kitchen.

Splitty is good like that.

It didn't take much time. Most small household repairs don't.

After all, once someone builds, wires, and installs the guts of the plumbing, everything else pretty much just bolts or screws on to the house.

I tossed the used part into the trash can.



Splitty looked over at it. It took him a minute, but he finally gave his assessment.


"A lot of family history passed through there."

Not much else I could add to that.

Tune in next time, when we hear Splitty say:


"MY BEER KOOZY CAN KICK YOUR BEER KOOZY'S ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!."

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Like Some Cheese With That Whine?

Texans are some of the biggest f*cking babies in the world.

They like to brag about how tough they are.

Some of them still refer to what's basically north Mexico as "The Republic of Texas".

One of their slogans is "Everything is bigger in Texas".

Okay Texas, here's a new slogan.

"We're A State Of Whiny Bastards!!!!"

You're the state leading in the creation of jobs. Unfortunately, most of those "jobs" are minimum wage paying, service industry jobs.

Maybe you can change your state motto to "Do you want fries with that order?"

Texans are whining about Longhorn football. They're whining about the demise of the Dallas Cowboys.

Let's not even talk about the Houston Texans football program.

Not out of disrespect, mind you. It's just that even Texans don't talk about it.

Let's face it, most of Texas is suitable only for testing nuclear devices. The state tree, the Mesquite shrub, is only usable for smoking meat. If it weren't for the presence of oil, the state would largely be empty.

If solar power can do only one thing, I would hope that it could rid us of Texas and it's whiny citizens.

Their latest whine really sticks in my crawl.

You ask what it is?

They are whining over the fact that NASA didn't award them a used Space Shuttle.

Oh my fucking God, the horror.

Why would they even consider giving Texas a shuttle?

It's not like Texas is a top tourist destination. Texans go back to Texas, kind of like a dog turns around to sniff its own shit after taking a dump. Other than that, I'm not sure I know someone who has gone there other than to visit family. Family who are stuck "Living the Dream" of being stuck in North Mexico Texas.

Texas was given a fully equipped Saturn V rocket after the Federal government scrapped the Moon program. What did the Texans at NASA do with it? They left it outside in the salt laden air of Houston.

It took over thirty years of rotting away for them to figure out they should build a climate controlled structure around it.

Nice.

Way to go.

The idea likely came from a NASA employee transferred to Texas.

Oh yeah, and while we're at it, let's talk about Presidential security. Texas couldn't even protect President Kennedy on his November, 1963 visit.

Nice job, guys.

Then, to go even one better, you couldn't even protect the man accused of killing the President.

Maybe the state motto should be "Ship of Fools".

You gave us Lyndon Baines Johnson and George W. Bush as Presidents (although you DID kill Kennedy to get the former in the White House initially). Eisenhower was born in Texas, but his family was smart enough to get the fuck out.

Now, you Texans want to foist off Governor Rick Perry on the country.

Rick Perry couldn't spell NASA even if you spotted him two consonants and a vowel.

So you guys want a used shuttle?

Maybe you should get off your asses and gather up the missing pieces of the Space Shuttle Columbia.


Nice job, Houston.

You guys probably could have warned the crew of the ice damage sustained after you took control of the flight. After all, it happened on your watch.

For all their whining, Texas just isn't worth it.

So here's what we do.

We sell the land and citizens back to Mexico and lease the mineral rights. It'll take a lot of material, but we then build a 100 yard wide, electrified razor wire fence. That should protect the surrounding non-whiny states. If it doesn't, then authorize the neighboring states to shoot to kill any whiny Texans trying to enter the United States illegally.

If Texas then wants to be a free country, let them whine fight for their independence from Mexico.

Screw you Texas, you're just not worth it.

Until the next time, all y'all (except for Texans) take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

A Few Steps Closer

That's what today was about.

Projects, both big and small, always move forward in steps. Most of the time, the steps are small. Today was no different.

After much research, packaging was decided on.

Packaging the product is important in any number of ways. Keeping the product stable, giving it "shelf life", and a "presence" marketing wise are all so important. It has to mesh seamlessly with both the product and the label. One small mistake can leave a great product darn near invisible no matter how hard you market it.

"Doc" is without a doubt the expert on that and product development.

My long suits are in research, writing, and working with "Doc".

I honestly can say we have a good system that's been tested under fire over the years.

But that's another blog for another time.

We also ordered some other packaging items for another line of product that came into view in the last couple days. It was a stroke of genius that I wish I could take credit for.

Alas, I can not.

As soon as I got the text, I texted back one word.

"Brilliant".

It really is.

It will come on line simultaneously with the main project.

Watch here for the website roll out. It will be a full service website with secure ordering/payments and customer support.

Those of you that have my cell number can always call me directly.

Packaging is en route, the product is in its finishing stages, and labelling is being developed over the weekend.


It is the best thing you've never had.

Soon, you'll be able to drop the *n* out of "never".

Thank me then.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Some Days Feathers, Some Days Chicken

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I'll not be out on the Chesapeake Bay striper fishing this weekend.

Honestly, looking at the weather forecast, it is probably for the best.

If any of you have been fishing in the Fall you know just how fickle the weather can be. One minute it is beautiful. The next minute, the "Perfect Storm".

In any case, all of the factors were way out of my control. Just like most things.

I'm pretty sure I'll survive.

The good news is that while discussing the new project at hand, "Doc" formulated a brilliant application for it.

Just like the product, it is simple yet complex. It is a subtle use of the product, but it will yield some amazing dishes.

As most of you know, I am a pretty decent amateur chef. Not the best, but I can hold my own.

Believe me, if this stuff wasn't worth a damn I'd tell you.

It is really THAT good.

I have a Memphis chef in mind to premiere it when I get home. I think that's the best way for my friends there to taste it.

The food's on me kids.

I'll also be inviting some chef friends of mine to dine with us.

Do NOT RSVP as *attending* and not show up.

You will be excluded from any further product roll outs.

It is going to be special.

It is going to be fun.

You WILL tell all your friends about it. Not because I am ordering that, but because it is THAT good.

Wait until you order some and use it. Your family, your friends, your spouse, your significant other will be astounded.

Honestly, what is better than surprising someone you love with a dining experience they've NEVER had?

"Foodie" friends and Chef friends get ready.

I'm fixin' to hook you up.

You will be pleased.

I look forward to your feedback after the fact.


Coming to a city near you (if you're in Memphis) in less than three weeks.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Memphis In The Meantime

It's true.

I'm headed off to Memphis in a few weeks.

The condo doesn't Winterize itself.

Besides, I need me some Memphis. Even if it will only be for a couple weeks.

For those looking forward to seeing Christine again, I have some bad news. I'll be "flying solo". Her workload won't permit a two to three week trip right now.

Come Spring, I guarantee things will be different.

It will be good to see the Memphis gang again. While my life keeps me away these days, there isn't a day goes by that I don't think of you one and all. It is a blessing to have so many friends in so many places.

I will see y'all at the end of this month.

Meanwhile, I do have some fun stuff coming up.

Looks like I'm going striped bass fishing with my best friend this weekend. "Stripers" as we call them, are some of the best tasting fish on the East Coast. They are the larger, sea going cousins of Croppie. They get much larger and put up much more of a fight than their fresh water kin.

If we catch one or one hundred matters not.

Another day of fishing with my best friend is a priceless time.

However, I think we'll have something for the stove upon our return. Rarely have we been "skunked" fishing.

In other news, there's a project afoot. I'm pretty excited about it, not only for the potential but the product itself.

"Doc" brought some out for a taste test the other day. After all, it IS his "baby". I thought I was blown away by the idea of it. I was completly blown away yesterday.

Seriously, it is THAT good.

I guarantee you nobody in Memphis presently has it.

I guarantee you that any chef or foodie will understand it right away.

Like so many other great things, it is both simple yet complex.

Once you have some, you'll want more.

It will kick your "cooking mind" into high gear.

At the same time, you will appreciate it by itself for its simple elegance.

I won't tell you yet what it is.

That will have to wait.

Just know this. Starting in early January, you will have a new food obsession.

A lucky few will get a taste of it when I get home at the end of the month.

Those that are on my list will be notified shortly before I come back to Memphis.

If you don't receive an invite, please don't be offended. I can only bring a limited amount with me.

If you do receive an invite, please show up. You won't want to miss this. If you do miss this, I will likely have to exclude you from other product roll outs.


That's all I can say for now.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

On Train Crossings

My grandfather always had a saying about trains coming up on a crossing.

"There are only two things a train can do to you at a crossing. It can make you late or it can kill you. Always look both ways and always abide by the gates and signals.

It seems like such simple common sense.

Grandpop always had good advice like that.

Yet, people try to beat trains at crossings every day.


Five teenagers were killed in this one. The driver went around the gates, never even stopping.

I strongly advise you folks to show that to any young drivers in your family.

When I lived in Germantown it seemed like once a year some kid attending Houston High School cashed in his/her diploma at one of the railroad crossings in town.

This weekend in California a mother was out pushing her baby in a stroller.

You would think that a mother would value the safety of her baby above all else.

Read on and watch the video.

Let me reiterate:

"There are only two things a train can do to you at a crossing. It can make you late or it can kill you. Always look both ways and always abide by the gates and signals.

If anybody I know gets killed for ignoring this simple advice, remember this.

I will still be here to write your obituary and speak at your funeral.

My words will not be kind.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

Friday, Friday.....FRIDAY!!!!!!!

Okay, so every day is "Friday" when you're retired.

That doesn't mean a brother can't get stoked up for a Friday.

Today's weather is gorgeous. Christine and I are off to Harper's Ferry for a family reunion tomorrow.

Fall weather abounds around us.


Best of all, "Boney Billy" is going with us.

He loved our week there earlier this year.

So did Splitty the Maul.

Oh yeah, Splitty's going too.

This afternoon I'll be prepping my famous marinated vegetables.

The copious amounts of Feta cheese makes it even "mo' bettah".

I also have promised to make two salad dressings for Christine's mom's salads.

A nice blue cheese dressing and my own celery vinaigrette.

I like the celery vinaigrette. It has a unique flavor that brings out the best in any green salad. It is crunchy, garlicky, and herby. I worked diligently on this for many months.

It's that good.

In the meantime I'm crock potting one of my Fall favorites:


Boneless turkey breast simmered in onions, celery, garlic, and ground savory.

Folks, it really is THAT good.

It's also simple.

I gotta tell you folks something,

Today is the sort of day I always dreamed of when I was working.

The weather is perfect.

I'm more content than I can express.

The aroma from the kitchen is both inviting and comforting.

A little dog someone threw to the bowels of Hell, only to be saved by the skin of his teeth, is snoring on his soft, warm dog bed. He's awakened twice and walked over to make sure I'm okay.

Well, that and to get his ears scratched.

Christine and I spoil him a bit.

He deserves it.

We all do.

I won't post a blog tomorrow due to the family reunion.

Hopefully, I'll get one up on Sunday after we return.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.

"Now is not my time."

And so it goes.

Governor Christie of New Jersey decided to stay put. It ended months of speculation as to whether he would run for the Republican Presidential candidates spot.

Given the way all the other candidates are being vilified, I can't say that I blame him.

I'm sure there are a lot of other reasons he's not running.

Here's how I see it.

The field of candidates is overflowing. It's like a really bad buffet. There's a little something for everybody, but no one person the Party can embrace as a whole.

Mitt Romney came out as the early front runner. Unfortunately, he has a lot of things people can pick him apart on. His record as Governor of Massachusetts wasn't exactly a gem. His State mandated health care plan gets hung around his neck like a rock by his competitors every chance they get. His stiff and aloof mannerisms don't really play well on camera, be it during debates or campaign stops. In a Party dominated by conservative Christians, being a Mormon is not an asset. It may not be a deal breaker, but it isn't a bargaining chip by any stretch of the imagination.

For the record, I have friends and former coworkers who are Mormons. I can not say a bad thing about any of them. Fine people, one and all. Just don't try to bum a smoke from them.

The other Mormon in the field, Jon Huntsman, is probably the most electable of the lot. Unfortunately, he gets scarce notice. For a lot of the Party he's too middle of the road. The Tea Party faction, whose demise I predict in 2012, would never stand for him. He worked for the Obama Administration as Ambassador to China. Then again, he's also worked for Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, and George W. Bush. He's also been the Governor of Utah, and spent time as the CEO of his family's company. That's a pretty strong resume, one that should make him one of the top prospects. Unfortunately, he has very little charisma. Even less than Romney. His speeches have all the pizazz of a bowl of oatmeal. He's already faded, but presses on in hope of a miracle.

Rick Santorum is best summed up by Googling his last name. I'm not sure who he pissed off, but that's a pretty rough slap back. He's way in the back of the field with Huntsman and Newt "Have You Seen Me?" Gingrich. He has a real "likability" problem. The last politician that gave me the creeps this bad was Michael Dukakis.


This is what a bad photo op looks like.

Newt Gingrich only has one real problem with his campaign. Unfortunately, the problem is that he's Newt Gingrich. He has no new ideas. Early in the campaign his attitude cost him some key members of his staff. Having two divorces under his belt doesn't really add any luster either. Especially cheating on wife number two with his current wife. She was one of his staffers. Nice touch. Maybe he should change his nickname from "Newt" to "Santorum".

Apologies to Mr. Santorum for that last link.

I promise I won't use it again.

Michele Bachmann sort of scares me. Not because she's a strong willed woman. I can respect that. What scares me is that she has moments of clarity where she brings up some really good points. Then, out of nowhere, she has a full blown H. Ross Perot moment and goes right off the deep end. You can review it for yourself here. That's way too much typing for me. Bottom line for her is that her campaign is toast. She lost two top members of her campaign earlier this year. A bunch more jumped ship today. Campaign staffers jump when it is obvious that the campaign has failed.

Herman Cain comes as a surprise to me. He's never held a public office, although he did run for one a few years back. He's been a successful businessman, a radio talk show host, and a minister. His first job was working as a mathematician in ballistics as a civilian employee of the U.S. Navy.

Sounds like a fun job.

Mr. Cain is currently rising in the Republican polls. Early on he aligned himself with the Tea Party. He is a pretty engaging speaker and seems to be a quick thinker. He's thrown a barb or two around and come out on top.

However, I think his surge will have a brief run. I think he's been the beneficiary of Texas' Governor Rick Perry's implosion. The good Governor has taken one of the best planned political launches and turned it into a train wreck. He and his handlers had to know that every one of the other candidates would be gunning for him. All he had to do is stick to the script. In his defense, it seems like he wants to be his own man and answer questions as he sees fit. The down side is it seems he has limited ability to formulate a reasonable response. The California debate was bad. He stammered and looked horribly uncomfortable. The Florida debate was worse. Any goodwill his handlers earned him coming into the race is all but gone.

He's dropped nearly twenty percentage points in the polls since he entered.

That's pretty impressive. Most candidates would have to have an affair or run over a daycare van.

Perry has succeeded by simply opening his mouth.



I'm not even going to bother bringing Sarah Palin into this conversation. She's irrelevant at this point except to say she's been treated harshly by the candidates and the media. In defense of the candidates and the media, there have been many times where Ms. Palin initiated the fight.

So then, Governor Christie has watched all this shenanigans. He saw all the grief Palin got when she bailed out of the Governor's office halfway through her first term. He's seen what happens to the new guy jumping into the Presidential pool, especially when they come out and step right into first place.

Why in God's name would he want to put himself and his family through it?

They really should change the term from "vetting" to "gutting" when it comes to running for an Executive Branch office.

Honestly, I think the big money machines behind the Republican Party finally realize that the field needs to shrink, not grow. The messages are getting diluted and cluttered.

I'm not saying I'm not enjoying it.

In a weird way, the field of Republican candidates reminds me of the old "Our Gang" short films.

Except the "Our Gang" kids worked things out in the end.

There will likely come a time when it is Christie's "time".

Maybe by then the schism in the GOP will have healed a bit.

Or not.

It's been good to be away from the blog for a week.

I've been working on a few things.

It's good to be back.

Until the next time, all y'all take care of yourselves.

Air Traffic Mike, ret.